Re-imagining my Process

Here are two studio efforts underway to be completed this week.

Living in a northern country as a valley-bottom dweller has its liabilities. Months of little or no direct light, short cold days that drive me into my studio to huddle beside a small heater while I try to paint under artificial florescent lighting. Might be bearable if the dreaded SAD wasn't pushing my spirit into the dark places.
Okay, it's not that disturbing but yesterday I did step back and I observed myself huddled over a mediocre black and white printout of a tiny photograph attempting to connect to my subject and understandably I asked myself "what are you doing???". Responding to your subject through photo reference is not unlike building a relationship with your partners passport. It may take you places but there's little joy.
This is an insidious trap set for artists by ourselves and remarkably many of us are pulled in like invertebrates caught in a rip tide.
Well, enough of this. I rolled around all night grilling myself with questions like "what am i creating art for, whats important, where am i going and what do i as a human bring to the rest of my tribe when i create art?"
I don't have all the answers but this I strive for; I must paint from life regardless of discomfort. Its only when interacting directly with nature and people that I have any hope of communicating and contributing to good in the world.
These concerns may seem to be escoteric pretension to you but they are fundamental to whatever it is I'm stumbling towards. All of you in your own chosen disciplines are making choices not unlike mine I'm sure. We need to hold up our end in this journey we call a lifetime.
Next time I trust I'll come to you with some snow on my boots and blood on my brushes. Have a great week.